My friend Banko just came back to America (specifically Champaign-Urbana) after teaching English in Taiwan for almost two years. We were discussing Booze News, an Onion-esque college newspaper that rivals The Daily Illini at the University of Illinois…
Banko, possibly drunk: i’m really a loser for liking to read the booze news right?
Me: a little, yes.
Me: but that’s cool.
Me: i don’t judge.
Banko: cuz today they had this article called “bromance”
Banko: about bros, you know loving each other like bros should
Banko: brad awoke with a sore arme and blood on his knucles to his roomate, Adam, blasting Nicklebakc form his stero. “Dude, you totally fucked that guy plast night!” excaliemed Adam, as he xteneded a contratulatory fist to Brad.
Me: haha. i hope the spelling errors were legit in the booze news.
Banko: Brad pounded Adam’s fist, adoring that it was the first thing he woudl touch that day. After reliving the glory of last night, the boys bpakce dup their books in their man bags and headed off to class together. Theri hands lightly grazed while they sauntered down the sidwalk.
Banko: Both of the boys tried to dismess this an asn accident, but the both knew: one light touch was ll they need to get throught the day.
Me: hahaha. this is like a setup for a softcore porn.
Me: or a lifetime movie.
Banko: “YOu wanna shotgun a brew, bro?” asked Adam. “YOu now it, man!, replied Brad with utter excitement. The pair went into the bathroom togteher, standing so close they could amlsot feel each other breathing. They jammed their keygs into the side ot their Natural Light beers, forced open the tabs, and chugged away
Banko: Brad’s lips tingled as the crips, cold beer ran past them, through his mouth, and down his throat, leaving a fizzy trail. Sharing this exchilaraint experience with his best bro made it all the more special. Once the beers ha d been shotgunned and the cans crushed an dthrown in the empty bathtub, the bros shared an intense high five.
Me: wow.
Banko: The moment lingered for what seemed like eterneity (at least they wished) as their hand tingled form the impact
Me: lord.
Banko: As Brad an dAdam prceedded to shtugn twomor eNattied, it bacame clear that this would be an esciting evening.
Me: who writes this? anne rice?
Perhaps the weirdest news story I’ve heard in a long time:
“Burglar wakes men with spice rub, sausage whack”
Fresno County authorities have arrested a man they say broke into the home of two farmworkers, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.
I couldn’t stop laughing. And the best part? The police were unable to locate the weapon: “The sausage was tossed away by the fleeing suspect and eaten by a dog.”
So I was watching the Republican National Convention, and Rudy Giuliani’s speech really struck me — and not in a good way. I was making dinner and listening to his speech with half of my attention. However, what he mentioned next stopped me in my tracks, and I dropped my jaw:
GIULIANI: For four days in Denver, the Democrats were afraid to use the term “Islamic terrorism.” I imagine they believe it is politically incorrect to say it. I think they believe they will insult someone. Please tell me, who they are insulting if they say, “Islamic terrorism.” They are insulting terrorists!
I couldn’t believe what I heard.
“…who they are insulting if they say, ‘Islamic terrorism.’ They are insulting terrorists!” Is it me or does that sounds like a slight again all Muslims? Now I expected several scathing remarks again Obama, but whoever wrote Giuliani’s speech makes it sound like “Islamic” is an insulting adjective. I’m sure it wasn’t his intention, but god, does it make him sound like a racist even moreso. Overall, however, it’s not uncommon for Rudy stick his foot in his mouth and appear like a complete and devastating asshole.
And while we’re on the subject on politics, it seems my mom (a staunch Hillary supporter) seemed to revel in the fact that Palin is the vice-presidential candidate. I don’t know if she was joking (she better be), but these are the kind of Hillary-turned-McCain-via-Palin voters I particularly loathe. You just want to see a fucking woman in the White House — not because you support equal wages or a woman’s right to choose. Guess what, it seems to me that it’s ultimately about image; image to break that glass ceiling despite Palin’s/McCain’s personal politics opposing everything Hillary and the women’s progressive movement stands for. It’s ignorance at its finest, folks.
In all honesty, politics is really sickening and both sides are just downright aggravating. I tend to think in regards to morality and ethics and not politics, but watching all the election coverage makes me want to leave this country all together.
So the graphic omnibus of narratives of varying lengths (aka, the graphic semi-novel), The Book of Luv, is finally done, published, and available for purchase. You can skip the shipping fees and come to Chicago’s Renegade Craft Fair and buy a copy.
Nearly half of the book is new, never-before-seen content, so here’s a big “fuck you” to anyone says I haven’t been drawing new comics.
The picture above is a new character who’ll soon be gracing the pages of my comic.
I particularly love the affirmating ring-fidgeting.
Tim: I don’t get the “graphic novel” business
Tim: isn’t a graphic novel one with a coherent plot/story line, like a regular novel, but told with graphics?
Me: alright, then it’s a semi-graphic novel.
Me: it does contain storylines.
Tim: you mean a graphic semi-novel
Me: sure.
Tim: more like a graphic omnibus of narratives of varying lengths
Tim: in fact, that’s a rad title.
Me: haha.
Me: i’ll use that next time.
Churning out content for the upcoming “graphic omnibus of narratives of varying lengths,” The Book of Luv (and other ways not to die alone).
BEIJING — Cuba’s Angel Matos deliberately kicked a referee square in the face after he was disqualified in a bronze-medal match, prompting the World Taekwondo Federation to recommend he be banned for life.
“We didn’t expect anything like what you have witnessed to occur,” said WTF secretary general Yang Jin-suk.
Yeah, totally WTF moment.
A lot of my time has been devoted to making stuff for Chicago’s Renegade Craft Fair. Both myself and Pat Doran of PatDoranIsAwesome and the comic strip “The Way Life Should Be” are sharing a booth this year and selling our work.
You should totally come!
WHO: Pat Doran, myself, and friends as “The Burnt Orange Art Collective”
DATE: Saturday, September 13 and Sunday, September 14.
TIME: 12pm to 10pm each day.
WHERE: Wicker Park, along Division St. and between Damen and Hermitage.
SPECIFICALLY WHERE: Our booth will be located smack-dead at the intersection of Wood St. and Division.
COST: Free, kiddies!
So what can you expect to find? Well, not only will you find arts and crafts from Chicago’s best creatives, but the following bands will be playing:
On Saturday:
NORTHERN STATE, 8:30pm
MAHJONGG, 7pm
HEY WILLPOWER, 6pm
On Sunday:
CALIFONE, 8:30pm
PIT ER PAT, 7pm
THE LIVING BLUE, 6pm
Apparently some some snacks and beer will also be served, so I suppose there’s no need to sneak in that flask and that roast beef sandwich into the fair.
As for what I’m going to sell, take a gander:
NEW PLUSHIES!
BUTTONS!
ORIGINAL ARTWORK!
NEW BOOKS AND COMICS!
Yes, you read right: new books. I’ve been working my ass drawing new comics, writing dialog, and designing new book layouts. Also, I’ve been sewing up a storm and creating new plushies of all the angels and demons who have appeared (and will appear) in my comic. I have a lot more up my sleeve (and Pat does, too, I’m sure), so be sure to come and see everything. It’ll be a blast.
Allan: Bela Carolyi deserves his own reality tv show
Me: HA. yes.
Allan: Sweet!
Allan: I’m surprised it doesn’t already exist
Me: haha.
Allan: seriously, everyone loves cute gymnasts struggle. And then add in the unintentional comedy of the Carolyi’s, man… that has hit written all over it.
Erick: a true market economy in china is whats happening
Erick: the irony
Me: haha, yeah.
Me: they are destroying the world.
Me: like america too.
Erick: we are all one and the same
Me: canadians are doing it right.
Erick: and on that note i must go to bed too tired and semidrunk
Me: ha. alright.
Me: sleep on your stomach.
Erick: i know that trick and actually there is a specific position
Erick: face facing down but legs sorta corssed so you cant turn over
Me: that’s too much work.
Me: i’d rather choke on my own vomit.
Me: that’s like yoga, ya know?
Erick: lol
Erick: lmao
Erick: i’ll keep that in mind
Me: drink plenty of water!
Erick: green tea ok?
Me: i think teas will dehydrate you and not help you sleep.
Me: if you stick a penny under your mouth, it will help with a hangover.
Me: no, just kidding.
Erick: oh and it taste bad i think its been sitting in my room one nite too much
Me: disgusting.
Me: water. it’s good.
Erick: k
Erick: wish me luck
Erick: that penny in my mouth will help
Me: don’t choke!
Me: on vomit or copper!
I think the best comedians are able to make fun of themselves:
1) From The Onion. Read the second caption of Monday’s “American Voices”: Kosher Plant Cited For Child Labor.
2) Also from The Onion. Read the third caption of Wednesday’s “American Voices”: McCain Cribs Speech From Wikipedia.
3) Read the second paragraph of Wikipedia’s “Kosher Slaughter and Preparation”.
Yeah, I love how “meta” this little discovery is, and yeah, I’m a total nerd for all this internet back-checking.
